The other night it was late. It was about 2:30 in the morning. It had been quiet for about a half an hour and I was fighting the urge to go home because I felt there might be one more ride and there was. In the western part of West Valley City I got a call to pick someone up.
When she got in the car I didn’t recognize her. She had her face covered and I could tell she was disturbed and upset. I’ve learned to tread carefully around disturbed and upset women! I said “hello, how has your night been”? knowing full well that something was wrong. She said that her best friend had just killed himself and that it was almost more than she could bear. She said that each of the last four years a friend of hers had killed themselves and that she didn’t know if she could take it anymore.
She then looked straight at me shooting darts with her eyes and said, “and you guys think he’s going to hell ““you don’t even know what a great guy he was and you want to send him to hell”
I was a little shocked by this assertion and yet understood what she was saying but I wanted her to spell it out. I asked her, when you say, “you guys” who are you talking about? She said you guys, you Mormons.
By this time she was sobbing uncontrollably with anger and grief. Immediately Elder Holland‘s talk on mental illness popped into my head. I begin to discuss it with her.
I said that her assertion of our belief was not an accurate description of the doctrine of the church. I did concede however that many members of the church carried this belief that has been passed down from other religions over the centuries, especially the Catholics but that our religion and doctrine doesn’t teach that. We believe that God loves his children and is looking for ways to help them not punish them.
I mentioned from Elder Holland‘s talk how if you have a broken arm people can see the broken arm and know that something is wrong, but with mental illness it’s quite different. With mental illness they are just as injured as someone with a physical ailment but we can’t see it and many times we erroneously make judgments and treat people poorly because of our ignorance. I talked about how he said that Christ suffered for that wound and would heal that wound in this life or the next if we look to him.
I felt inspired to tell her that her friend was with his family members and no longer encumbered by the mental illness that had driven him to this point.
This is about the time when I realized that she hadn’t told me he was mentally ill, but that if the spirit was dictating it to me, I was going to go with it. I told her that if she could see him now he would be happy and would not want her suffering because he was no longer suffering.
I couldn’t really see into the backseat but what I could see was her with her head bowed and her face covered. She talked about how this boy‘s mother had passed last year and that he was inconsolable about that. He talked about wanting to be with his mother. She also mentioned that he had some serious mental illness issues so what I said made sense to her. I told her it wasn’t me that came up with that, it was the Holy Ghost and that the words came from an apostle of the Lord. I only repeated his words. I said, “that’s what the Mormons believe”.
Then she started talking about how much fun they had together and what a good kid he was. She talked about how happy he must be to be with his mother but that it still wasn’t an easy thing for her. I told her to trust in God and understand the Jesus, through his atonement, could ease her pain. She shouldn’t have to suffer through this alone and could find comfort in him. The car was full of the spirit by this point and I asked her if she could feel that. She said yes
She said that’s why I was so happy when I saw it was you that was picking me up. I knew I would feel good and comfortable in your car. I knew that I could cry and get answers in your car. I was shocked why would she say that, I thought.
She said, “when you have driven me before I have always felt something special in your car.” “This is where I needed to be tonight”. I turned around and looked at her closely and then recognized her. She works at a Starbucks on State Street and I’ve given her a ride home a couple of times. She’s always been very happy and always very bright.
We’ve always had friendly banter about things but I’d never felt an impression to say anything specific to her about doctrine until that night.
By this time she wasn’t crying any more and had pulled herself together. She said she was grateful for how peaceful and loving God made it feel in my car. She said she enjoyed riding in my backseat and the way it made her feel.
She got out of the car waved, smiled and said, “I’ll see you soon!” I have no doubt I will.
Many of you know that I worked for farmers when I was growing up. I know a little something about planting seeds and I know that this one was planted in fertile ground.
Here is a link to elder hollands amazing talk. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2013-10-0110-like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng
Sometimes God sends you a lift 