One Saturday night, I was down in Utah County working. It’s a little different working in Utah County because unlike Salt Lake City where many of the popular bars are in one area there is not one area where most of the bars are found. In Utah County every town has only one bar. The exception to this is Orem that does not have a bar.
I got a ride to go over to the bar in Springville to pick up a ride to go to Orem. To me this made total sense because it seems like the Orem people think they’re free agents and they go to any bar in any city they want.
I got to the bar. It’s located just west of the freeway on the frontage road. I pulled in front of the door and started to wait. I started getting these texts about how they were going to be out in a minute, but they never came. Finally, I was getting excited because I was going to be able to cancel the ride take the money and get another ride somewhere.
Then a couple came out. When I saw them. I was struck by how they didn’t seem like they belonged. They were out of place, and I got the impression that I would be discussing the gospel with them.
As you know, if you read this, occasionally I have talked to people who have been leaving the bars but generally, it’s not where I get my most impressions. I kind of don’t expect it because most of the time when they’re coming out of a bar they are drunk. That is not a favorable or likely condition for them to feel the spirit or even remember anything they felt. I think most of the time, God would not have me testify in these situations and I don’t get promptings. To put it another way I wasn’t expecting this prompting.
They got in the car and mentioned that it was her birthday and they apologized for taking so long to get out. They said that they had to say goodbye to all of their friends and were having a hard time closing out their tab. Apparently they had paid for all of their friends.
I said, that’s great and I wished her a very happy birthday. They said thanks and talked about how much fun they had with their friends. They talked about how they liked being around their friends. They mentioned that they were engaged and were going to be married in September.
I asked where they were going to be married and after they paused for a few seconds they said, in an apple orchard down in Santaquin. The spirit told me that they knew that this wasn’t what they had wanted to do. That feeling killed the vibe for a minute.
After a minute they talked about how all of their friends were jealous about their relationship and how well they got along. Doing this was a little self congratulatory for them and it picked their spirits back up. It made them feel better about themselves.
I decided to jump right in. I didn’t know anything about these kids but the spirit was bringing some things to my heart to say and I decided I needed to say them. I knew that God knew them and so it would all work out OK. I said, I have people in my car all the time they do nothing but rip on the opposite sex. They say what kind of horrible people the opposite sex are and how all of the good ones are gone. I said, that may be for them, based on their choices but that there are a few commonalities in great relationships.
I said, one of these commonalities is a desire to be married more than they want anything else. I said, if you want to be married more than you want anything else, you’ll be married regardless of what else comes up. I said, some people want to be right more than they want to be married and they end up being right but they’re not married. I said, others want to win the fight more than they want to be married and they win the fight but in the end they’re not married.
I said, they also learn the importance of bringing God into their relationship. Many of these people totally disregard the commandments of God and jump into the physical parts of the relationship on the first night or early on. I said, this will destroy the relationship and make it hard to create a firm foundation to build on.
As I said these things, I realized that because of the fact that I pick these two up at a bar, it was at least a possibility that the law of chastity was a huge problem and that I may have said something contentious or that struck a nerve. The spirit confirmed to me quickly that I was all right.
Just as I was thinking this, the guy spoke up and said, you have a good point! The first time we were intimate was quite a while after we started dating. He said, I went to church the next day because I felt guilty. He said, I was raised religious and so that guilt found me.
I asked him where that guilt came from? He said that he thought it came from all of the years being taught by his parents. I said, I think that guilt came from inside of you because you knew that what you were doing was not what you believed in. I said, I think you knew that God had higher expectations for you and it hurt to think that you let him down. I said, he’s your father and you had felt his love in your life and now you felt like you turned your back on him.
I realized that this was pretty strong but the spirit put it in my heart to say and pushed me to say it. When that happens, you just go with it. You know that God has a plan. As I sat there and quickly contemplated this I had a very strong impression that he was a returned missionary and that she was young in the church.
I felt impressed to talk about repentance. I said, God doesn’t want us to feel horrible. God wants us to come home. That’s why he sent his son Jesus Christ. He sent Jesus Christ so that we could repent of our sins and come back home. It’s called the atonement of Jesus Christ and it works. He said, I think you’re right. I need to do better.
I said, how long have you guys been members of the church? She said, how do you know that we are? I said, I just feel that the spirit is prompting me that you are members of the church. He said, yes, we are. I baptized her on my mission in Alabama. Since the day we met, I’ve known that we were supposed to be married. She left Alabama and came out here and that’s when everything fell apart with regards to the church.
He said, I haven’t closed the door completely on coming back to the church. Then looking at his fiancé, he said, neither has she, although it’s a lot more closed than it is with me.
She chimed in saying, yeah my doors are only open a crack. I had the distinct impression that the breaking of the law of chastity by these two young people preparing for marriage, was only one part of the story. I felt that she had a different issue that needed to be addressed.
As I thought about what the issue might be, I kind of had a feeling like she had left something comfortable and familiar. She was lost. I felt like she was lost living out here without her family and she got lost in the church out here.
I know that many times the church can be difficult for people who are baptized outside of Utah and then move to Utah. When they move to Utah, the culture of the church, in many cases, is just very different. It takes a strong testimony sometimes to see God‘s hand instead of people’s flaws.
I said, yeah, sometimes that transition could be really difficult. Sometimes things people say and the way wards interact in general can be really difficult. I said, it’s hard to mesh and find a place sometimes.
I told her about the time in our previous ward when the lady told us that she didn’t want to sit by us because she didn’t like the noise our children made. I said, at first I was offended and then I decided I would go to church every Sunday early so I could find out where they sat. I did this so that I could go sit right behind them every Sunday. Eventually, we became good friends. She laughed and said, that takes a lot of guts. I don’t know if I have that much courage.
I said, I don’t think I do either. It’s not courage that’s self generated but it’s confidence that I get through the power of the atonement.
I said, one of the problems we have in the church many times is that we only look at the atonement as what we access during the process of repentance. Looking at him I said, when I spoke about repentance with regards to being intimate before marriage, that’s what you thought about. I said, you weren’t wrong either. Repentance is how we cleanse our sins when we have made mistakes or broken the commandments. I said that this is only a small portion of the power accessible to us through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
I said, most of the time when we talk about the atonement of Jesus Christ we talk about it in the context of repentance and that’s a good thing and a wonderful thing. I said, The rest of the atonement is also very necessary especially right now in your lives. Looking at their faces, I could tell they were puzzled yet interested to hear what I had to say.
I said, when Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane to perform the atonement, he bled from every pore and suffered for more than just our sins. He suffered for the inequities, the injustice, the pains, the embarrassment, the abuse we would suffer, the unrighteous judgments people would pass on us and all of the negative emotions of our existence. I said, it was in every way an infinite atonement.
I said, he did this so that we could have our burdens lifted; the burdens of sin, the burdens of judgment placed upon us by others, the infirmities we would feel, the injustice we would face and the battles we would fight. He suffered all of this so that we could look to him and live.
I shared my parable of the glasses where you take five clear glasses and fill them with juice at different levels. I asked them how they would subsequently even out the levels of juice in each. They said that they would take some from the fullest one and distribute it through the others back-and-forth until it all came out even. I said, that is the way man looks at things. Some have it and some don’t. I said, if someone has it we feel like we need to take it from them and give it to others because it’s just not fair. That’s how we look at it, as the natural man. I said that the way Jesus looks at it is that he doesn’t take from one to give to another. He just brings in the pitcher and fills all of the glasses to the brim. His sacrifice was sufficient to love everybody, lift everybody and fill everyone’s cup regardless of our condition.
I said, regardless of what your challenge, embarrassment or situation is, turning to Jesus is like having a healing ointment that you can rub on it that will make it feel better. By turning to Jesus, he can lift us. I said, when we are faced with a challenge, Satan tells us to blame God and God tells us to look to Jesus and live.
I talked about the serpent that Moses fashioned out of bronze and put on the staff for the children of Israel to look at to be saved. They had been bitten by poisonous snakes and people were dying. I said, people died because they didn’t believe that they would be saved by doing something so unsophisticated and simple as looking at this snake on the staff.
I said, we need to be smarter than this and realize that the atonement has been done for us. We need to realize that our sins and other tribulations have been suffered for already and if we look to Jesus, we can live.
I told them about Alma and his people in the valley of Elam where they were held as slaves. I said that because of the atonement of Jesus Christ they were able to look to Christ and have their burdens lifted to the point where they could barely feel them. I told them that this is God‘s plan to help people who are ridiculed, persecuted, embarrassed, offended, wounded in any way or who have sinned. God‘s plan is to have us look to his son and live. I told them that Satan‘s plan was to blame God and pull away from the church.
I asked them which route they had chosen to take. When I asked this, it was quiet in the backseat for quite some time. Then she said, maybe we didn’t make the best decision. I just didn’t understand this. He said, me neither. He said, I spent my whole life in the church and served a mission, but I’ve never heard the atonement explained like this. He said, to me it was always about repentance and I didn’t realize it was so much more.
I said, the cool thing is that it is still about repentance, but I testify that in your life, if you will look to Jesus Christ, he will help you through every circumstance and you will live. I said, God loves you, he’s your father and this is how he brings us home.
The spirit was really strong in the car and there were tears being shed. I said, what are you guys feeling right now. He said, I’m feeling the spirit. I looked at her and asked her as well, what are you feeling? She said, calm and emotional at the same time. I said, that’s the spirit. That’s how you feel in the presence of the spirit. I said, we’re all feeling the same thing It just manifests itself differently to each one of us. I said, when you feel this you know that God is confirming to you the truthfulness of the things that are being taught.
He said, it looks like I’ve screwed everything up. I said, that’s what Satan would have you believe. He’s there telling you that you can’t be forgiven. He’s there telling you that the people in church are judging you. He’s there telling you that the people at church aren’t friendly and that you don’t fit. He’s there telling you that you won’t feel comfortable when you go. He tells you that you don’t belong anymore.
I told him, if you guys will go to church and focus on the Savior and the atonement, none of these other things will matter. You’ll be able to get yourselves straight, and you will feel the spirit in your lives.
I looked at her and I said, for you this has been really hard because it felt like a personal rejection when you moved here. You were used to being welcomed as a new member of the church and they invested in you. Here you’re just another member, you felt betrayed and abandoned.
I said, that’s exactly how Satan wanted you to feel. I said, if you will access the atonement and cover yourself in it, it will take the power away from Satan to affect you like this. I said, if you guys will do this, your friends really will have examples to look up to.
He said, I’m willing to do it. I want to do this. She said, I will if you will. I said, when you go to church, if you feel like someone is judging you, you need to realize that everyone has sin. I said, you expect them to be patient and have tolerance for your sin but you also need to have patience and be tolerant of their sin. I said, their sin is judging you. If you react horribly to them judging you, it only means that you are judging them. Go up,put your arm around them, tell them you love them and don’t let Satan win. Never let Satan win.
The spirit was really strong in the car. I said, I believe God put you in my car today to get this message. I know that by the spirit he gave me the words to say so that you would know that what I was speaking were his words. He wants you back and it’s time. Don’t let another week go.
They looked at each other and said, after what we felt here tonight, I think we know what we have to do. We need to go back to church.
I said, we started this talking about you guys getting married and I want to end it like that. I said, I believe God is happy that you guys are getting married but I know he wants you to be sealed in the temple. Apple orchards are nice but having this spirit that we felt here tonight bless your marriage is the next level. I said, that happens in the temple. I said, that’s got to be your goal. Let’s turn this around!
There were sniffles and tears going on and they each grabbed one of my shoulders and shook me. They thanked me and got out of the car. I’ve never talked to a couple like this. I usually don’t pick up people who have been drinking from bars and talk to them about God but that night God wanted the atonement to be taught and he wanted to bring back a couple more of his children. I think we have taken a big step in that
Sometimes God sends you a lift 