One day I was in Salt Lake and I was trying to get a ride down to Utah County. I was excited to see one come through but not totally excited because it was to Saratoga Springs. While Saratoga Springs is in Utah County, around rush-hour, it resembles a minnow trap. You can get in but there doesn’t appear to be any way of getting out. It was a decent money ride and so I decided to do it.
I picked the young lady up by Liberty Park. She had purple and pink hair and a really nice nose ring with a jewel on the end. That, along with her tattoos, was quite a look but the look didn’t match the feel. She seemed to have a very loving and sincere vibe. Not the frenetic confused vibe that normally accompanies someone in that culture.
As we started to drive, she started talking about buying a gift for her boyfriend‘s mother. It was her birthday the next day. As she was talking about that, the spirit said, let’s talk a little bit about the boyfriend. To that point, about 10 minutes into the ride, I had not considered this ride an opportunity to share the gospel. She seemed pretty worldly and pretty bought in to the culture.
I asked her if it was serious between her and her boyfriend. She said, well kind of serious. I asked her how long they’ve been dating and she said off and on for five years. I said, five years? That’s a long time. Don’t you think after everything you guys have been through at this point you should be married?
We talked about their relationship and how they had been together for five years with two breaks ups in the middle of it. I asked what she envisioned their relationship being like. She said she hadn’t really got to a decision point on that. She really didn’t know.
I said, after five years, you don’t know? She said, yeah, we used to live together and he wants to move in again but I don’t know if that’s what I want to do. I said, that’s a good instinct. If you broke it off before why would you move back in unless there was a total commitment.
I talked to her about the commitment of marriage and how it’s more than just a piece of paper. I told her that guys say this because they know that once they make a commitment it’s final. She said, I’ve been trying to figure out where to go with this but you’re making a lot of sense right now.
I told her that I didn’t know why she would try to move on with a relationship if he wasn’t planning on getting married. I said, getting married has to be the goal of your relationship after five years or you should move on. I said, I feel very strongly that you’ve had this thought but you like his mother so much that you don’t want to upset the apple cart.
She said, wow, you nailed it. She said, back to what I’d like, someday I’d like to have a family and a bunch of kids. That’s what I really want.
I told her that being together with this guy who doesn’t want to commit is no way to get that done. I asked her how old she was and she said she 30. I asked her how old he was and she said 39. I said, if you want to have a family, you can’t be waiting around for this guy. He is clearly not in a commitment pattern. She said, you’re right, I’ve just been waiting for something to come along and confirm that to me. I guess I’ve been waiting to hear that from somebody else. I said, it’s time for you to fish or cut bait. I don’t even think he’s got a fishing license nor does he intend to get one.
I said, Heavenly Father gives us commandments so that we can be happy. We are most happy in a marriage with our families the way God intended. That’s why you crave it because it’s the right thing. She said, I guess so. That’s probably why I’ve been hesitant here. I have been frustrated with his lack of commitment.
She said, I am not very religious. I’m not a member of any church. I said, that’s not true because you were baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
The spirit revealed some additional things for me to say and I started saying them. I said, you’ve had some unfortunate things go on in your life and some people fail you. Even though you have been deeply hurt that doesn’t mean that you can’t forgive them.
Judging people who offend us only hurts us. We need to trust that God will take care of his business and move on.
I said, letting other people‘s mistakes control your life is no way to live. One thing about the church is it’s full of people who make mistakes. This means every one of us and some worse than others. The thing is that it’s our responsibility to realize that Christ paid for sins committed by everyone. He gives us the atonement so that we can be lifted, loved and supported through our trials. There is no reason for us to feel alone.
Forever, you have felt like religion abandoned you and that the church abandoned you. I’m here to tell you right now that no one abandoned you. When we sin we separate ourselves from the spirit of God. We abandon it and then Satan lies to us and tells us that Jesus and the church abandoned us. It’s not true, he would never abandon us. Our sins just separate us. Christ has given us both the way to cleanse ourself from our sins and lift our burdens so that we can come home. We need to learn to look to him and live.
I said, when we do unworthy things, even for reasons that seem to make sense, we build that wall. At some point, we need to tear down that wall so that we can see the light of Christ and come home.
She said, I was a member of the church until I was 14. One time I spent a week with my grandma. I loved her so much. She was a lady that went to church all the time and did all of the right things.
She started to cry, but not a little she started to sob and she said, my grandmother one day took me aside and told me that she loved me but she didn’t love how I looked. She said, in heaven, once your skin is white, you will be so much more beautiful. She said, I can’t wait to have my little white granddaughter in heaven.
She could barely get through the telling of that story. I could tell she was reliving the moment and still very hurt. I could tell that she had taken what her grandmother said as what the church taught. Her grandmother believed that everyone’s skin would have to be turned white before they go to heaven. My passenger didn’t think that her Native American heritage should be an impediment to her or becoming white a condition to be with God
I taught her about how Heavenly Father loves all of his children, no matter where they are from and no matter what race they are part of. I told her that he is a perfect father of every person on earth and that skin color is not even a consideration. I said, it is certainly not a qualifier. I told her that there are General Authorities of every race and that when they go to heaven, they will be that same race they are now.
I told her that many people in the church have weird and different ideas. Sometimes those people have positions in the church and sometimes those people are family members. The fact that they might be a family member or have a position does not make them right or give their wrong opinions any validity. The thing that is right and the thing that is valid is the fact that God is our father and he loves us. He sent his son, Jesus Christ so that we could all come home if we repent and follow him.
I said that Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected so that we could all go home. I talked to her about the atonement and how Jesus suffered for all of our pains and injustice, infirmities and inequities. He did this because he loves us and he wants to bring us home to his father in heaven. That’s what we call the atonement. He bled from every pore and suffered every pain so that we can be made whole. God wants to make you whole.
I said, God does not care what color your skin color is. He sent his son for all of us. I talked to her about how God sent Jesus Christ first to the people in Jerusalem but then to the people all over the world. I said, if he didn’t want those people of different colors, if he loved them less, why would he send his son to them?
I said, Jesus Christ walked amongst your ancestors. He held their children and cried. He blessed them and their posterity. God, your father in heaven, has made that blessing available to that posterity, every single one of them. He has made it so that they can inherit everything that he has. I asked, would he do that if he didn’t want the people of that color in his kingdom? She said, no.
The spirit was really strong in the car and I asked her if she could feel it. She said that she could. I asked her what it felt like and she said amazing. I asked her where that feeling comes from and she said that she thought it came from God. I told her that she was right.
I told her that she lived with her father in heaven for thousands of years and that they had a bond, a vibe, that felt like love, that felt like acceptance and that felt like joy. I said, when we came to earth we forget about that but today you’re feeling it again.
Now she had tears in her eyes but this time tears of joy. I said to her, I testify to you that your Heavenly Father loves you just the way you are and the color you are. He loves you. That’s why he sent his spirit here to testify about his love and testify of the truth that I have spoken. God loves all of his children and we learn about that in the Book of Mormon.
The evidence of that love is found in the temple where God’s children of every race come together to unite their families with their father in heaven. Every one of their family who has passed receives a baptism so that they can return to their father and live with him and their families.
She said, that’s beautiful! I love that but I was still hurt by what my grandma said. I told her that it makes sense. I said, that is normal but the other part of the atonement is that we need to forgive. I said, your grandma didn’t say that out of a place of hate, she said that out of a place of ignorance but she was still full of love for you. She wanted to be with you. She loved you, her granddaughter.
I said, someday as she works to come home to her father in heaven, she will need to repent of saying that to you. She will have to come to you and ask you to forgive her. She will have to say that she’s sorry and ask you to forgive her. On that day, you will need to access the atonement of Jesus Christ to take the hurt out of your heart so that you can accept that apology and feel the love behind it. What’s better is that you don’t need to wait until then to do your part. You can access the atonement now and that burden can be lifted. You shouldn’t need to carry that with you.
I said, it’s all about love. It’s all about our father in heaven‘s love that started thousands of years before we were born and will be the thing that heals our souls. It helps us repent, forgive and shows us the way home to him.
She said, I really needed this. I believe God put me in your car today to hear this. She said, I guess I need to make changes starting with kicking this dude to the curb. I will never forget the hard questions you asked and the love I felt as you gave me the answers to them. This has changed my life.
I told her that one of the reasons we have bishops is so that they can help us with this hurt. They can help us forgive others, they can help us access the atonement. When we go to church, read the scriptures and pray, we can learn to walk with God. I said, he’s got all of the answers. People don’t have the answers, God does and we need to look to him.
I told her that she needs to go to church and look for answers in her life there under the direction of the spirit. I asked her if she knew where she was supposed to attend. She said yes. She said that one of the girls next door was the Relief Society president. I asked her if this was something she would do. She said, yes, this will be hard, but I know this is something I need to do.
She said, thank you so much for being ready and willing to tell me the things that I needed to hear. I need my heart to heal. I need to come home.
She got out of the car and walked in to the house. A few hours later she gave me an amazing tip (Not that this matters for the purpose of this blog.) It tells me that she was clearly still thinking about the spirit she felt and the things she learned in the car. That makes me feel good because I know truth was spoken, the spirit testified and she felt it. I think it will change her life.
Sometimes God sends you a lift 