Don’t focus on the shiny objects

It’s interesting to see how confused people are in this world about what makes them happy even as they do the things that aren’t making them happy. They listen to people who lie to them and it sets them up for a life that is less than what their father in heaven would have it be. I get the opportunity to drive with a lot of young people who have really screwed up ideas about life. I can’t just come out and tell them how screwed up their life prospective is. That said, I love to ask questions and I do.

One Friday night I had an outstanding opportunity to have one of these discussions. I picked up a girl from a house party in Sugar House. I was taking her to her friend’s house up by the University of Utah where they were going to continue their weekend socializing. She seemed to be about 21 years old.

As we started to drive, I got the impression that I should have a discussion about the church with this girl. I kind of felt like she felt lost. On the outside, she didn’t seem lost. She seemed confident and knew exactly where she was going and what she was doing so that’s where we started.

I asked her what she was majoring in and she said she had a double major with only one year left until graduation. I asked, so how do you see yourself in 10 years? She very quickly rattled off her goals.
Graduate from college.
Get her graduate degree.
Get a good job in her field.
Rise to an executive position.
Travel and see the world.

I asked, then with that information, I asked, who do you see yourself being in 10 years? She said that she saw herself as an incredibly aggressive, successful businesswoman. I asked her what her legacy would be and she said that everything she had mentioned is the legacy she wanted to leave.

Those were her goals. I asked if she had any other goals and she said no. I asked her if those were the same kind of goals all of her other friends had and she said yes. I asked her if these were the kind of goals they encouraged her to set in her major and she said, absolutely. I asked her if she had any personal goals about her life. She said no, just the ones she had mentioned.

Then I said, you mean, you don’t have personal goals for you as an individual and as a human being outside of this identity that you are trying to carve out for yourself in a business climate? She thought for a minute and said, that’s a really good question. No one has ever asked me that question.

I asked her if she had ever thought about family. She said that she didn’t think that with the life she had planned that there would be much time for that until she was in her mid 30’s. She said she thought she’d worry about that then.

I asked her if she minded me telling her a story. She told me to go ahead. I told her about a friend of mine that spent his whole life working for a major company. I told her that he had been very successful and the company couldn’t have gotten along without him. I said that he was involved with every decision and everybody respected him. I told her that when he walked in the building, everyone said hi.

I could see in her eyes that she thought this was really cool. Then I said, it came time for him to retire. They had a party, he was celebrated and then went off to his life after retirement. He talked about how a few years later he went back to that office. He didn’t recognize anyone. Someone else was in his office and no one cared who he was.

Eventually he found a couple of people that remembered who he was but they were busy doing other things and moving on to the next project. He realized that day that this company that he thought was his legacy didn’t know who he was anymore and didn’t care who he was. They had paid him generously for the work that he did and once he was gone, it was onto the next guy.

She said, that is sad. I said, not really. She said, what do you mean? I said, he had five kids and 25 grandkids. In the eyes of those grandkids, he was the world‘s greatest hero. He loved them and they loved him. He realized that those grandkids were his true legacy. It was not the business where he had earned a living but the grandkids he had sacrificed for that gave his life purpose.

I told her that this man was so much richer than the money he had in the bank and that his legacy in his family was his true wealth. She was stunned. There was silence. Where before there had existed almost a cocky confidence, you could feel a wave of doubt creeping into her mind.

It was quiet in the backseat for a minute and she said, no one has ever talked to me like that. No one has ever told me anything except, go get that brass ring, compete hard and take no prisoners. She said, I’m stunned by what I’m feeling right now.

She said, as you talked about your friend and his family, there was such a warm peace that came over our conversation. Everybody in our circle considers family to be a nuisance or an obstacle. She said, in some of my classes they even tell us that we want to put that off until we are well established and have achieved our goals. What you said hit me hard.

I asked her if she had any friends who were not on that corporate track. Friends who may have goals of family, etc. She said she did. She said that she met some girls her freshman year who wanted to get married and have a family but they were really Mormon. She said, everybody made fun of them.

I asked, how did you feel around them? She said, a lot like I have felt here in the car when you talked about your friend. It was always very relaxed and peaceful around them. She said, I really would have liked to have spent more time with them but the other group of people pulled me away.

I said, remember how you said that they were really Mormon? She said, yes. I said, I am too. I said, as a member of the church we believe that if we obey the commandments of God and do the things that God would have us do, we can have peace in our souls and his love round about us.

I told her that we lived with our Heavenly Father for thousands and thousands of years and that he loves us. I told her that this love is the most central part of our existence and that we can’t be complete without it. I said, this is why people are chasing shiny objects. They are trying to find the thing. I said, that thing they are looking for is their relationship with their father in heaven.

I told her that that feeling of peace that she is feeling is the spirit of God and his love. I told her that this is the same thing she felt in his presence for thousands of years and tonight in the car, her spirit has recognized it.

I said, one of the greatest blessings that we get from being obedient to our Heavenly Father is the opportunity to have families that are eternal. A true legacy that stays with us forever. I said, this is what my friend had. That’s why he had a legacy. He didn’t buy the lies that the world told him.

He didn’t buy the lies that Satan put in his ears. He listened to God and found peace. That was more important to him than all the money and position the world could provide. I told her that if you ask him today how he wants to be remembered, he will say a husband, father and grandfather. He doesn’t even mention his extremely successful business career.

I told her that at school, in the university, they see it as their job to lie to her. They are trying to get her to look away and chase the shiny objects. They don’t want her to consider the things that are real. The things that are lasting are the things God gives us such as our families and his spirit.

I told her that a young family with children and no money can be more happy and more fulfilled than a millionaire business person or a captain of industry if they can have the spirit of God in their heart and the peace that comes from it. I said, you can’t buy that.

I said, look, there’s nothing wrong with having a career and making lots of money. Having power and influence is a good thing if you use it properly, The issue is that there are some things that are good like having a career. There are some things that are better like being a good person. There are some things that are best, which is having this eternal perspective and the peace from God in your heart.

By this time we were sitting outside the house where we were going but she asked if we could talk a little bit longer. She said, this has been the most incredible ride. You’ve taken everything I thought I knew and turned it upside down.

I said, it’s not too late to get started on a new set of priorities. She asked, how would I do that? I said, do you remember the girls from freshman year? She said, yeah. I said, look them up, go to church with them and put yourself in situations and in places where you can feel the spirit of God. Let him direct you.

She said, one of those girls just lives down the block. We just passed her house. I think I’ll go talk to her tomorrow.

I asked her if she prayed. She said that when she was a little girl she prayed but not since then. I talked to her about prayer and the power of prayer. I told her that it’s how we speak with our father in heaven and it brings his spirit. She asked if I would pray for her and I said I would. She asked if I would teach her to pray and I did. She asked, how often can I pray? I said we should pray every morning and night and whenever we feel like we need to have our father in heaven with us. We pray so he can send his spirit. She said, I like that.

I asked her if she ever heard of the Book of Mormon and she said yes. She said that those girls had tried to give her one freshman year. She said that she didn’t take it when they offered. I reached into my glove box and grabbed a copy of the Book of Mormon. It’s one of my copies prepared by the Secrists. I gave it to her and said, well this time I think you’re supposed to take it.

I said, the Book of Mormon is a collection of writings by prophets and is the word of God. When you read his word, you feel his peace. If you read this book, you’ll find answers in your life.

She opened up the front cover and saw the questions of the soul and said, I’ve had a lot of of these. Are the answers in here? I said yes.

She said, I guess I have to go but this has been a truly amazing experience. I think tomorrow morning I’ll go over and visit that girl from my freshman year. I said, ask her if you can go to church with her. I said, she would probably love to take you and you will be amazed how many really cool people you’ll meet. You’ll also be blown away by the love and peace that you feel.

She said, I’m sold. I’m down for a new experience and I feel like this is something I need to do. It’s going to be a change. I think I’m ready for that challenge. I’m done being lied to. She patted her Book of Mormon then my head, smiled and got out of the car.

I actually gave her a ride a couple weeks later. I picked her up on campus and drove her home. I asked her if she went to church and she said that she had gone and was going. She said she prays every day and she reads the Book of Mormon. She said she’d been introduced to some elders and they were amazing. She said, I love having this in my life. I had felt like there had to be something else for a while but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. She smiled and said this has to be why we have ride share. I laughed.