The rooster won’t be crowing tonight

One night when I was in my first week as a driver, I got a call to pick up a lady who lived in Holiday. She needed to go clear down to Herriman. I pulled in to get her and she didn’t come down for quite a while. Once she showed up she surprised me because I didn’t see her coming. She jumped in the car and it startled me.

We got in the car and started driving and talking. I asked her what she was doing that night, she answered by saying that she was going to hang out with a friend.

We started talking about her friend and her life. I found out that she lived with her boyfriend and that he was staying home while she went to her girlfriends that night. She told me she wasn’t thrilled with the relationship but that was as much as she talked about it.

Then out of the blue in a snarky tone, she said are you Mormon? I’ve been told by many passengers that when they ask that question the drivers never say yes even though they know they are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints. They assume that they deny membership because it’s not popular with the hipster bar hopping crowd that uses the car service.  When I enthusiastically and confidently say yes it surprises them.

Such was the case this evening. When she asked if I was Mormon I said, yes!  She said, wow, that was confident! I said yes. She asked if I went to church every Sunday and I said yes and we do our family meetings as well. I told her I read my scriptures every day and say my prayers too.

She giggled for a second and then got serious and asked me how could I believe in a religion that was so hypocritical. She said our religion had damaged her and she felt that she had been damaged irreparably. She didn’t know how anyone could be involved after everything she’d seen.

I told her that hadn’t been my experience and that there was a difference between the gospel of Jesus Christ and the people who follow that gospel using it as a method to become better people. I told her it was a hospital full of sick people not a museum of perfection.  She said that everyone there is so judgemental That surely they weren’t trying to be followers of Christ.

I talked to her about the fact that there are members of the church that are judgemental and that’s horrible, that David O McKay  said the sweetest smell in Sacrament meeting is cigarette smoke. I told her that sometimes members of the church lose sight of that and judge other people. If all sins had a smell, church would  be a very stinky place. I also told her that judging was their sin but that many times people also judge them harshly for being judgemental. I said without knowing where they’re coming from and why they’re making those judgments it’s hard to be harsh with them.  

I told her about when our kids were young in our ward we had someone that came up and told me that they hated when our family sat by them because our kids made so much noise. My response was different than leaving the church, the way I responded was I went early every week to make sure I sat right next to that person or behind them so that they could deal with their judgemental conscience.  I told her that I refuse to let someone else dictate my level membership in the kingdom based on their biases.

She laughed and said can I tell you my story? I said sure! She told me that when she was a girl she was molested by a member of the church and when she was a young lady she was raped twice and dumped on her parents doorstep. She got emotional when she said that those young men that had raped her went on to serve missions and get married in the temple. She said that they had been at parties where something was put in her drink and she woke up bruised, battered and humiliated on her fathers porch.

She said it tore her dad up and the tears in his eyes were more than she could stand. She said she couldn’t believe in a God that would allow this to happen.

I told her that I felt horrible hearing her story and angry about what had happened to her. I told her that people are horrible animals and do horrible things to each other. Then I told her that God would judge and punish them. I told her that this was the reason we had the gospel. It is to take that natural man and give us a way to change that natural man into a follower of Christ.

I told her that we are all at different places on that path but that we can’t forget that the love of God for each of us is the thing that gives us purpose and brings us along that path. I told her that when we do horrible things God does not forsake us but that if we will turn to him he will embrace us.  I told her that sometimes it seems like we get the short end of the stick and that everything conspires against us. I told her that Joseph Smith even felt that way like the very jaws of hell we’re open waiting to consume him.  

I also told her the hope behind all of this is the atonement of Jesus Christ that will make all things right. I stopped the car and I looked at her and I said I want you to know the Jesus Christ loves you. I want you to know that your Father in Heaven loves you and that they are there for you. Jesus Christ will make up for the difference and lift you over the anger and hatred that you still feel if you will allow it.

I testified to her of the power of Christ in my life, the forgiveness I have received for my sins and his love that I have felt for other people that has changed my heart on many occasions. I told her that she too had love for God and Jesus Christ but that over the years she had shut that off trying not to feel. I promised her that if she would open her heart to feel she could find the healing love of Jesus Christ. She could trust him to be the judge and the advocate and the healer.   

I said the answer is not to run from Christ but to run to Christ and let him heal your wounds. I told her she should go to her bishop and let him help her with some counseling.

At this point we both had tears in our eyes because the spirit was pouring out of the car as we arrived at her friends house. Her friend was on the doorstep waiting for her to come in but she said, I don’t want to leave your car. I don’t want to ever get out of this car! I have never felt the love of God for me as strongly as I do in my heart right now. I never want this to end. I told her it doesn’t have to end and that she can carry God with her in her heart always.

I talked to her about the Holy Ghost and its role that makes it possible for us to walk each day with the spirit of God in our hearts. I told her she can feel like this anywhere anytime she wanted, she just had to pray and talk to her father and he would send his spirit. I encouraged her again to talk to her bishop. She said that she would but that she hadn’t been to church in decades and they might not want her back. I told her that judging by the spirit in the car that she was feeling, her Father in Heaven desperately wanted her back and that his servants would lift her.

I asked her why do you think I was sent here today? I wasn’t sent to give you a ride I was sent to give you a message that your spirit was crying out for and that your Father in Heaven wanted you to receive.

She said, what you don’t realize is that today I was pondering God and the church and Jesus Christ. This morning I had decided that tonight at this gathering I was going to announce to my friends that I was denying Christ and that they were never ever to bring his name up in my presence again. I got in your car with the hatred of the church and anger at my Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ prepaired to deny it all and hate for the rest of my life.

The power of what I have felt in this car has changed everything. I love my Father in Heaven and I promise you that I will lean on Jesus Christ for my strength.

Her friend was tired of waiting and came to the door to find out what was going on. She said that the power and love of God was in the car and she hadn’t wanted to leave. Finally she said thank you so much for bringing me this message and I will do what I have been asked to do tonight. She got out of the car and walked in with her friend.

This was actually the first time I realized that God was using me to give people a lift. Up to that point I had just been amused by the antics of those I drove and felt a little sorry for myself and what it had all come to economically. From this point on I decided I better be on my game.