There was a family in a north Orem ward that seemed to generate an unusual amount of interest with the ward members. They had three children, two of them were teenagers ages 19 and 18 and the youngest was nine years old.
These kids were well liked but everybody was afraid to talk to them about the church. They were afraid to mess things up. They didn’t go to church but everyone that lived around them were members and they always talked about them. They invited them to parties that they attended every now and then.
I was serving as a language missionary at the time and felt moved by the spirit that I needed to get involved with them so I went over to meet the family. When I met them I understood why everyone was excited about them. They were a beautiful family! They were very welcoming and there was a great spirit of hospitality in the home. I could see why people thought that they would make good members of the church. I figured that there was only one way to do that, actually talk to them about the church and help them feel the spirit.
One day I went over with a missionary. We took the opportunity to teach a lesson to the family and it seemed to be very well received. When I bore my testimony of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon I could see the spirit move through them. To one degree or another almost everyone was receptive to the challenges we made and the spirit brought by testimony. They seemed to want to hear more with the exception of the father.
I just think that the rest of the family was better prepared. The children and the wife all had friends in the ward and fit in very nicely but the father did not. It was really interesting how as I talked to members of the ward about them, no one ever talked about the father. As I spent time with him, I learned that this was a big mistake. The parents had decided that they would either all be baptized or none of them would be baptized. By turning their backs on the father, missionaries and members of the ward had virtually assured that the family would never be baptized.
I decided to become the father’s friend and work with him, love him up and help him feel the spirit. I was prompted that if he felt the spirit, he would either decide to get baptized or relent and support his family. I felt like the spirit could soften his heart and move him to give us permission to teach the family and eventually baptize them. I had the distinct impression this would never get done by going around him. I was taught by the spirit that he was proud of his family and felt that his position in his family was threatened by the church and the people trying to separate the family into different religions. He was adamant that they stay together. A large investment of time and love was required on this one.
I started taking big gulps to the mechanic shop where the father worked and chatting him up a couple of times a week. I went over and talked to him at his house, we watched soccer and did things to become friends. I did whatever I could to let him know I cared.
I even went one Friday night to the Mexican night club in Salt Lake City where his band played. I was the only white person there. I was the only person there not drinking. Everyone was staring at the gringo and it was very funny. I think he probably thought I was nuts. I felt out of place. The good thing is that I stayed and we had a great conversation when they finished their set. I think I was able to tough it out that night because I’m used to being an embarrassment! I’ve had years of experience with this. Ask my wife and kids.
Whenever I saw him, we would talk about the church and I would identify the spirit in the conversation. I figured that if he got used to feeling and identifying it this would help change his heart. He talked to me about his family heritage in Catholicism. He talked about how devoted they were and the sacrifices they had made for that religion over the generations .
I let him know that I believed Jesus really appreciated the sacrifice and devotion he and his family had offered. I talked about how Jesus loves effort and devotion. I mentioned that when Jesus came to America, he descended from heaven and invited everyone to take a step up to a new level of discipleship by receiving his baptism by his authority.
I showed him in third Nephi, where it talks about how the people were taught and baptized and the righteous devoted people were there waiting for Jesus. He invited them to take this step up without spending even one second criticizing their past beliefs and practices. He invited them to take a step up to a new level of discipleship. I said, we are not here to have you reject or dishonor your family heritage. We are here to offer that new level, that step up and that baptism that Jesus gave to your ancestors. I said, you have taught your family to follow Christ. That is their heritage that they received from you. They are just taking that discipleship of Jesus to the next level. You should be proud!
Finally one day he said that it was okay if his children took the lessons and were baptized but that he and his wife would not. This was sad because she really wanted to be a member. She had a really strong group of friends in the ward. I asked him if it would be OK if she continued to attend church. He said yes. I asked him if he would attend occasionally too. He said yes, he would. He said he had gone a few times and that he would be a very supportive father.
I can’t put into words how big of a change this was. The spirit changed his heart from forbidding the family to explore, to accepting it and being willing to provide some level of support. I knew that this was the first step in what eventually would end in the temple for all of them. I felt the impression not to press him harder right then and that the Lord would bring them to the church in his own time. I also felt that it was important to rally around him and love him up with the culture of the ward. I told the bishop that we needed to treat him as if he were a member and even have him participate in little ways where it was possible.
One time the Bishop organized a young men’s activity where this man taught them how to change the oil in their car. It was fun to watch him give of himself to these young men. I think it made him part of something bigger. It made him feel like part of the ward family. The respect they gave him was touching and I know he felt it.
The elders asked him if he could fix the bikes for the sister missionaries. Their bikes were always a disaster and this Zone leader felt like it would be a great idea to have him serve the sisters by fixing their bikes. He loved this and enjoyed being around the missionaries in this way.
With his blessing, we began to teach the 18 year old boy and his 19 year old sister. They were both eager and accepted the gospel very quickly. They were very spiritually sensitive and not only recognized truth but recognized the spirit testifying of that truth. They were nearly perfect investigators and were baptized one week apart and have never looked back. They are both married in the temple and are extremely active in their wards. The daughter married the son of the bishop and that bishop took over the fellowship of the father. The younger child was also baptized soon after and about a year later the mother was baptized as well.
About a year and a half after the mother’s baptism, the family moved to California. The father still goes to church semi regularly and he is blessed by his association as a member of the ward family. I know that someday he will be baptized too and this family will be an eternal family. As members of the church continue to work with him and love him, his pride will turn into submission to the Lord and his sense of obligation will be redirected. This family someday will be a forever family. He opened the door, he sees the light and one day he will follow it.
