One day I was driving in Utah County and I picked up a guy at the train station in North Orem. He was coming home from work and he was very dirty. He worked in construction and was very apologetic for the damage he was doing to my car.
He looked a little bit wild and I got a prompting from the spirit that I was supposed to talk to him. I started asking him if he was from around here all of his life and he said yes. He said he grew up in Orem and played football at Orem High School. I told him that I had coached football at Orem so we bonded on that.
I looked back at him in the mirror and said the words the Lord put into my heart. I asked, how long have you been battling your addiction? He said, how do you know I have an addiction? I told him that the Holy Ghost whispered it to my heart. I told him that I knew that he was a member of the church or at least he used to be. He said that he is a member but had been a little rebellious. He said he had gone down some forbidden paths so to speak. He laughed and said, I don’t know how you know this but it’s true.
I said, it’s the spirit that told me this. I said, I want you to know Heavenly Father loves you and that’s why he revealed this to me. I said, you have felt like you have been fighting these demons alone but your father in heaven was always there and he loves you. I said, from time to time he’ll send people to help you out and today he has sent me. He had a tear in his eye. I asked him, are you feeling the spirit right now? He said, yes I am. I asked, what does it feel like? He said love. I said, that’s because Heavenly Father loves you. He said, I need that.
He told me that he had been sober for about six months for the first time in 15 years. He said, during that time, I abused my family by stealing from them and being evil around them. They don’t believe in my sobriety. I’m working really hard to get to the point where my dad will let me back in the family.
I asked him how often he reads the Book of Mormon. He said, not ever. I don’t even have one. I reached into my glove box and gave him one of my Books of Mormon prepared by the Secrists. I gave it to him and said, if you will read this every day it will be easier to have the spirit with you . If you read this every day it will help you defeat your cravings and win that battle. I said, Heavenly Father wants you to be with your family.
He said, I would love that. He said, my mother died when I was young and my father is remarried. He has another family now with that new wife and they didn’t want an alcoholic drug user around them. I understand but I want my dad to love me. He said, I think reading this is a great idea. I’ll read the Book of Mormon and pray. If you’re right and there’s power in it, maybe it will help me. I promised him that if he was sincere,it would fill his soul with the light of Christ and people will notice the difference.
I said, that’s the thing that will change your dad. He will see the light in your eyes after you make that commitment. That light will touch his heart. I said, it’s hard for a dad. He is trying to protect his family but he also loves you.
As I was talking about this with him, I had the impression to tell him the story of a family that I know. It was a blended family from three different directions.
The father married his first wife. They had three boys and then she cheated on him with another man. She left him for that other man. She married the man she had the affair with and then they had another child. My friend was depressed about this and turned to alcohol and cigarettes. He said it was like everyone knew all about this in his ward and his world turned against him and sided with her.
A couple of years later that woman and her new husband were killed in a car accident. Everyone was shocked, especially those four little boys. He had very limited interaction with them. He didn’t fare well with the judge in the divorce court. He was very depressed about the way that whole thing turned out. This as much as anything accelerated his substance abuse.
When he heard that his ex-wife and her husband had been killed he insisted that he get custody of the three boys and also the boy that was the result of the new marriage. He said that the younger boy should not be separated from his brothers. He wasn’t leaving anyone behind. He took him in and raised him as his own. I said that I knew all of these boys except for one of the older ones. They are all fantastic people.
I said, many people, especially some members of his ward were mean to him. Members of the church would come over and say their kids couldn’t play with his kids because he smoked and drank, even though these kids attended primary. He got really angry towards the church because now they were ostracizing his children not just him.
Some friends and I became his friend. We went to church with him. I would go out and stand on the corner so that he could smoke between meetings and then right back into church . I baptized his son from his wife’s marriage and we activated another one of his boys. They both ended up going on missions. I told my passenger that I didn’t really ever meet one of the two older boys but one of them really struggles. That father still loves all of them and has sacrificed for them. Bit by bit he quit smoking and then drinking.
Finally, he got to the point where he could go to the temple and he was sealed to his wife and their children. This was a very genuine man and he loved to serve. The gospel changed everything in his family and brought them together.
After serving a mission, one of the boys married the daughter of a friend of our family in the temple and his dad, this man who had raised him as his own son, was able to be there. It was beautiful.
As I told that story, he started to cry. At the end of my story he mentioned the name of the man in my story and said, you’re talking about him, you’re talking about my dad. I know you are! I know this story very well and I have heard of you too. Now I was shocked. I said yes! He said, I’m one of the two older brothers. When my mom died, it was a hard shock and that sent me down this spiral. I’ve been trying to get back lately and I’m hoping that soon my dad will bring me in and allow me to live around the family. I have done a lot of bad things but I want to put in the work to change. I want to be with my family.
I was shocked by this. I looked at the app and it said his name. Just his first name. I had always heard his dad mention him. He would say how much he loved him but he needed him to straighten out. After many failures they had gone to some tough love with him and apparently it was working. It was having the desired effect of changing his perspective. Now he only needed the spiritual part to fill in
We talked about this for a minute. He was not judgmental of his father at all. He had stolen from him. He had done bad things around the family with drugs and he understood why his dad wanted him separated from the family. He was hoping that someday he could make up for what he had done wrong and earn his trust back.
I told him that one advantage and disadvantage that he has is that his dad understands exactly what he’s going through. He understands exactly the overwhelming compulsion that is addiction and the manipulation of family members and everyone around you associated with obtaining relief from your addiction.
I told him that we used to joke with his dad saying that we were going to take him up in the mountains and tie him to a tree until he got over it. For the record we never did that.
I told him that I don’t know everything about his relationship with his father but one thing I do know is that he has one of the biggest hearts I have ever encountered. I told him that if he will truly change, his father has the perspective to see that change. I told him that it wouldn’t be fast but I’m sure it would be possible. I said, this is also what your Heavenly Father wants.
I asked him what he thought the odds were that he would get a driver willing to approach him boldly with knowledge he shouldn’t have about his situation. A driver he had not previously met. He said, not likely at all. He said, I would guess that would never happen.
Then I said, and if that did happen, how likely would it be without God’s involvement that you would get a driver who knew the whole back story to your situation so that he could use your father as an example to follow on the way back? He said, I just got chills on the outside and I’m burning on the inside. That would never happen. I asked him how it happened then. He said, it was the hand of God. The spirit is here and I feel it.
I asked him what he thought his Heavenly Father wanted from him and why he would put this whole thing together. I said, that’s the question. Do you want to make him happy? Do you want to serve him because he is pulling out all the stops to save you right now? He said yes.
I said that if he would read the Book of Mormon, say his prayers, begin repenting of his lifestyle and go to church, he would be able to make that change just like his dad did. I repeated, this is exactly what your dad did. He had to forgive other people in his life who had been mean to him and go to church with some of them.
I said that all of these things are only possible through the atonement. I said, the atonement of Jesus Christ covers our sins and when we are weak it gives us strength. It is the difference. When we fail, if we look to Christ, he will make up that difference. We have to do the things he wants us to do. Your father set that example for you, now you just have to follow.
Your dad had to decide that it wasn’t about him but that it was about his father in heaven as well as own family here on earth. I said, you’re part of that family and I’ve seen how your father works to save his family. If you will do these things, nothing is outside the realm of possibility. I know your father is a forgiving man and he loves you.
I asked, will you do that? Will you read the scriptures, go to church and say your prayers? He said, I will. We looked up his ward and when they met. He said he would go that Sunday. He said, that sounds like exactly what I need.
He asked me if I would call his dad and tell him about our conversation. He said his dad wasn’t taking his calls right then and he understood why. I said I would.
He asked if we could say a prayer there in the car to get him started. I said, that’s always a good idea. He asked me to pray and I told him that I would but that I wanted him to pray as well, after I prayed. He agreed, and we prayed.
The spirit of the Lord was palpable in the car. After we finished, he said, I don’t want to leave your car. In here I feel like this is all possible. Here I feel love.
I told him that if he would get worthy, the Holy Ghost could be with him always and then he would be able to feel the love of his Heavenly Father anytime he wanted to. He said, that’s what I need to do. He gave me a huge tip and a pat on the back and got out of the car.
I called his dad. The news of the ride was met with surprise and hopeful skepticism if that is a thing. Hopeful because of the love they feel for him and skeptical because of the track record he had built with them. He had broken their hearts many times. Nevertheless, they were excited by the news and they said, when he makes the changes he needs to, the door is always open. We love him.
That sounds like a wise thing for a father to say. It sounds like what my Heavenly Father says to all of us. I know that my friend called his son and is praying for him as well. He doesn’t believe in leaving anyone behind.
